The Backdoor

Postmaloneialism: RELS Essay Invents Religion


The Backdoor is a work of fiction and humor. WITH MIDTERM season upon us, the time-honored tradition of students turning in poorly executed papers is in full swing. Tenuous thesis statements, vague evidence and a use of trifling and vacuous vocabulary (with the intention of elongating page length and obfuscating arguments) can be found in

Sixth Grade Science Now Required at LC


The Backdoor is a work of fiction and humor. RECENTLY, STUDENTS have been confused about the new update on WebAdvisor in the “Register for Sections” drop-down menu. There was a bright red notice that said “Due to  inability to operate microwaves properly, all students will now be required to take a sixth grade-level science credit

FBI Spy Log Reveals LC Student’s Online Habits; Yikes


The Backdoor is a work of fiction and humor. THE FOLLOWING is an exclusive surveillance log of an unidentified Lewis & Clark student by the FBI obtained by the Pioneer Log. 8:45 a.m. Subject’s alarm sounds.  First internet activity logged at 8:47 a.m. Subject scrolls through Instagram for 25 minutes, then proceeds to their morning

How to Subsist on Campus Foliage to Avoid the Bon


The Backdoor is a work of fiction and humor. COLLEGE CUISINE has a well-deserved reputation. Despite charging exorbitant tuition rates that skyrocket each semester, most universities still peddle the cheap Sodexo slop plaguing high schools across America. It’s understandable, then, that many prospective students are enchanted by their first trip to the Fields Dining Room.

Maggie’s Ought to be Praised to the High Heavens


The Backdoor is a work of fiction and humor. IN EARLY November, an article was published that sparked both outrage and critical acclaim. There is a war going on between two opposing sides, and I fear that our side, the right side, has been unheard for far too long. As a first-year student at Lewis

How to Insult LC Students and Assert Dominance over Your Peers


The Backdoor is a work of fiction and humor. IS THERE someone you don’t like on this campus? Is it actually … yourself? I sure can relate, and I understand the need to passive aggressively attack others in order to boost your own self-esteem. Here, I’ve compiled exactly what you need: a foolproof method of

Le Bon is Portland’s hottest new fine dining experience


*The Backdoor is a “work” of “fiction” and “satire” By Elise Glaser Palatine Hill’s new fusion restaurant, Le Bon, has Portland foodies flocking to “The Hill” in Southwest Portland. Amidst towering Douglas firs, restaurant goers can enjoy their meal in a more rural setting. Pulling into the restaurant, the initial smell of curry was overwhelming.

“It’s about time that I got on that stage,”: Jason Feiner Headlining Sunburn


*The Backdoor is a “work” of “fiction” and “humor” By Lani Felicitas Director of Student Activities Jason Feiner will be headlining the 2018 Sunburn Music Festival. Several Lewis & Clark students and staff heard rumors of Feiner playing the festival, but such rumors were recently confirmed by his dog Daisy, who will be performing alongside him.

50 things for seniors to do in their last 50 days


*The Backdoor is a “work” of “fiction” and “humor By Graham Ring Find Emotional Stability Find Financial Stability Find Physical Stability Tell your family you love them Eat at the Bon one last time Find meaning in your life Eliminate competition Attend an LC event and procure free school-sponsored alcohol Put off your capstone/thesis Text your

Going green for St. Patrick’s Day


*The Backdoor is a “work” of “fiction” and “satire” By Graham Ring As a celebration of the continued budget deficit, Lewis & Clark will be throwing a St. Patrick’s Day Celebration on March 16. The school will be using money pulled from the bridge reconstruction fund to pay for the numerous events, as well as numerous

College Outdoors offers trip to LC Estate Gardens


*The Backdoor is a “work” of “fiction” and “humor” By Nick Sabatini Last weekend, College Outdoors offered a journey through the rugged wilderness of the Estate Gardens behind the Frank Manor House for the first time. The vehicles left Sequoia on the graduate campus on Saturday for the three-hour car ride to the Frank Manor