Freshmen revolt after PSI class on time management

Member of one Tuesday Pioneer Success Institute class, a six-week course designed to familiarize new students with the resources offered at LC and build life skills, were distraught to learn that their ordinary, concise and not-at-all-awkward hour-and-a-half class had been extended to three hours, in order to focus on what the Lewis & Clark administration considers a matter of the highest importance: time management.

“We’ve all seen time management tips on our RA’s boards,” Elizabeth Rio ’21, the student co-facilitator for the class, said. “We thought it would be a good idea to elaborate on some of those. But when we were planning the class, we realized it just couldn’t fit into the time we had set.”

The 28 students had, for the first hour of class, resigned themselves to playing Pokémon Go and watching their leaders’ frustration build as they declined to participate. In other words, it was a normal PSI class. However, after a while, the students began to wonder if it would ever end. 

“That’s just how it goes, though, I thought,” Jason Deroche ’23 said. “I was asleep most of the time, and then after the time was up, I started to leave.” He shuddered, his memories seizing him. “They held me back and said I’d have to make it up if I left. I have dance rehearsal on Tuesdays, so I wanted to get out of there.”

After the class went into overtime, “everyone just kind of sat there, a few people asked when we would get to leave, but the leaders just stood in front of the whiteboard and didn’t respond,” Deroche said. 

Apparently, the leaders remained wordless, hands crossed and mouths pressed into a tight smile. 

“It’s very necessary that we have those silences,” Rio said. “It stretches the lesson. They need to know how to manage their time. You have to understand.”

After two and a half hours, the students had resorted to begging and pleading to be let out and kept showing the leaders the list of homework they had to work on after eating dinner, which they still had yet to do. Apparently their desks could not lift, keeping them stuck in their chairs. The lights flickered.

After three hours, Deroche managed to wriggle out of his chair and freed the others. 

“Then we just left as if nothing happened, or at least I did,” Deroche said. “I didn’t do anything else, alright? I didn’t have any part in what happened after that.”

The other students in attendance declined to comment on what transpired after. The PSI leaders were later found duct taped to the wall, positioned directly under the clock.