Farewell forever or for now: Silly sentiments for Seamen about leaving school for summer

Sweet, sweet Seamen, it is almost that time. Though it pains me to say this, the year is almost out (save your panic for the disco). This is an extremely stressful time for many of us, but before you rip out the rest of your bleach-damaged hair, take a moment to look around you. Really inhale the natural deodorant and swap-closet mildew, and be present in this moment. Refreshing, right?

As students, we can be so busy juggling Instagram activism with the Sparknotes of readings that it can be hard to appreciate the beautiful campus where we reside (apologies to those living in barrack-dorms in the basements of Forest). With the end of the semester so imminent, we should all take a moment to enjoy what The College Experience has to offer and reminisce, whether you are heading back home to camp counsel some Zoom-addled seven-year olds or booking it to NYC to test the value of your Theatre degree in that job market.

So in lieu of a yearbook with which to HAGS you, here in a format accessible for your short attention span is a listicle of just a few of the things to miss about Lewis & Clark.

The Wildlife

As one of the nation’s most picturesque campuses, LC boasts acres of moss-coated land, manicured to aesthetic perfection along the admissions tour routes. Personally, I feel so lucky to live in such a biopunk place, where a symphony of ceaseless frog-fucking in the ravine lulls me to sleep at night and a stink bug in my shower caddy greet me each morning.

Squirrels here have the same level of bravado that people who wear lingerie to class enjoy. These fuzzy woodland gangsters need to realize that they can pry a Troom croissant out of my cold dead hands. No matter how much they stare at me menacingly. 

Also, the bunny rabbits that come out this time of year are so cute. First time I spotted one I thought it was an Alice in Wonderland situation until I remembered the only hole I was falling into was of the K variety. 

Arts & Leisure

LC students are a creative bunch, with never a dull moment between galleries, plays, sick live music and existential nude performance art. Where in my hometown can I be served a neon drink with a ladle out of a 5-gallon storage container while some Music major with a concentration in conceptual jazz tells me “The Ramones” started punk?

Speaking of music, with KPH taking the summer off-air, where am I supposed to find another radio station playing nothing but Morrisey, Kanye and The 1975, providing an important lesson in a Barthesian separation of art from the artist?

Campus Style

At LC, we celebrate our diversity, and our wardrobes are no exception. Give me one good reason a white girl with type 2A hair should not wear a durag recreationally. It is fashion as politics, and it is also fieldwork for her SOAN thesis. 

I love a bold fashion choice, and nothing says bold like showing off your fresh nipple  piercing in a Holocaust history class. There is a level of tact that is left to be desired, unlike the imagination to which nothing is left.

Here, the world is your runway, especially while you slow-walk to class in six-month-old platforms that are three away from being unwearable due to repeated encounters with cobblestones. The pain of having to break in new boots is nearly unbearable, but restringing them with yellow laces should make up for it by automatically making you better than other people.

The Dorms

Living away from home has its perks, and dorm living is a great transition into residential independence, so long as your room selection slot is in the first three minutes of sign-up week.

When I dye my hair at home, my mom makes me do it in the yard so as not to stain the sink. Here, my housing contract actually requires that I grind powder bleach into the bathroom tiles at least once a semester.

Besides, I have never learned as much about the compost cycle as I have in watching the states of deterioration of the communal fridge. Tracking the accumulation of rotting Eco-Containers and curdled Yoplait is like watching nature reclaim the earth from our industrialist hands.

The Liberal Arts Mindset

One of the most rewarding aspects of liberal arts is that feeling that the world is exploding around you, expanding with each new thing you learn and experience you have. 

This campus provides ample opportunity to learn through student activism, because everyone knows for an institution to be good it must unconditionally support those who are rebelling against it. Remember, consequences are for cops, and no one can rob you of the adrenaline rush you get from watching a Philosophy major trying to incite a riot and not quite pulling it off.

It is such a privilege to attend a small liberal arts college with such a focus on providing a well-rounded education. It is even more of a privilege to tell your old high school friends about the “thirds” thing and how you got a GenEd credit for a class that starts with lying on the floor and “breathing through your most supple organs.”

Goodbye for now

A Pio is a Pio for life. Even once you graduate from LC, you can always come back home and use your degree to work here because it is the only place that knows what Rhetoric and Media Studies is. 

We here at The Backdoor would like to thank you for a quiet year of uncontentious reporting, and hope you think of us as fondly as you will think of the situationship you never made official before leaving for the summer.

KIT and DFTBA, Seamen. ILYSM.