Illustration by Faith Gallegos

New Super Bowl LV commercials juxtaposed to game performances

With Super Bowl LV over and in the books, it is time to remark on one of the most celebrated 

aspects of Super Bowl Sunday: the commercials. From moody Jason Alexander hoodies to Big Bird, let us catch you up on some of the most memorable moments you may have missed by comparing these comical ads to their in-game counterparts.     

Cheetos Commercial feat. Shaggy (Tyreek Hill’s Overall Performance)

Like Tyreek Hill, this one got off to a bit of a slow start. It opens with Mila Kunis wrongfully eating Ashton Kutcher’s Cheetos and then proceeds into a musical number that has Kunis exclaiming, “It wasn’t me!” Kutcher’s singing in the beginning coupled with some bad lip-syncing made me want to quit this assignment and call it a day, but I persevered until reggae musician Shaggy began singing in the second half of the commercial. When Shaggy hit that dad joke at the end, I found myself at Maggie’s scanning the aisles for some Cheetos. 

Scotts and Miracle-Grow Big Game Commercial (Tyreek Hill’s First-Quarter Performance)

This one was a missed opportunity for one essential reason: How are you going to have Stanley from The Office in this and have it not be funny? That is the equivalent of Kansas City Chiefs wide receiver Tyreek Hill dropping a surefire catch in the first quarter of a Super Bowl. Unfortunately, as part of their “Keep Growing” campaign, Scotts and Miracle-Gro decided to pay half a dozen celebrities to perform cliche outdoor activities instead of using their collective talent in a substantive comedic way. Suffice to say, John Travolta’s bizarre dance routine for his daughter’s TikTok certainly does not save this commercial from how forgettable it is.

The Middle From Jeep (Mahomes’ Offensive Line)

Remember that really bad Pepsi commercial from a few years ago that tried to solve racism? Well, this one tries to solve our current political divide through the sale of Jeeps. It features a Bruce Springsteen voiceover that is nothing more than a string of platitudes intermingled with shots of him in a Jeep, a church and a diner (the staples of American life, apparently). Mahomes’ offensive line had him running for his life and it was still better than this overcooked turkey.

Tide’s Jason Alexander Commercial (The Ol’ Reliable Tom Brady)

It is hard to say whether this was a commercial for Tide or Jason Alexander hoodies, but I will take one of each, please. Throughout this commercial, we follow the painful journey of a Jason Alexander hoodie as it gets beaten down by everyday life, including being slobbered on by a dog and left in a gym bag with some dirty socks. Like Tom Brady, it is incredibly durable and expressive and comes with its fair share of complaints. Stay on the safe side and treat them both with the respect they deserve.          

No Way Norway General Motors feat. Will Ferell (Travis Kelce’s Explosion)

Comedians Will Ferrell, Kenan Thompson and Aquafina band together to oppose Norway’s dominance in the electric vehicle market in this General Motors advertisement. Despite mistakenly traveling to Finland and Sweden, their initial opposition to an entire country mirrored Travis Kelce’s brilliant stand against Tampa Bay’s nightmarish defense. Although their struggles were in vain, you might as well give them an A for effort.    

Neighborhood Doordash feat. Big Bird (Bucs’ Defense)

What a textbook performance. The Sesame Street gang checked all the boxes in this positively thrilling DoorDash musical, which featured standout performances from Cookie Monster and Big Bird as well as a new take on their classic song “The Neighborhood.” All things being equal, I would say they are just as worthy of our admiration as Tampa Bay’s incredible defense is.                     

Wayne’s World feat. Cardi B (Gronk’s Connection With Brady)

Not gonna lie — this one was a bit of a surprise for me. But boy, that connection between Wayne’s World and Cardi B was exactly like that of Brady and Gronk. Throughout their promotion of UberEats as a means to support local restaurants, they satirized manipulative advertisement techniques such as showing attractive models (Garth) and the celebrity cameo (Cardi B). Hopefully, this commercial gets picked up as a series on Hulu because the nostalgia and humor are “party time, excellent!”  

Honorable Mentions: Sexy Amazon feat. Michael B. Jordan and Edgar Scissorhands 

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