Zombie Seth Rogen and Ghost James Franco in front of a giant marijuana leaf background
Illustration by Umi Caldwell

Christian mom reviews blasphemous, sin-filled Halloweed: Trip To Hell

Hi, children of God! It is your host, Christy Ketchum of the Country Christian Mom Podcast, where we talk about all things JC. If you are new, I welcome you and I thank the Lord you are here! Ah, October! Fall is truly my favorite time of year. Crisp days where sweaters, pumpkin spice lattes and religious indoctrination all warm the soul. It is the beginning of holidays to celebrate with family and marks the countdown to the greatest birthday in all of history. 

But, unfortunately, Halloween, the devil’s holiday, is in October. In our household, we celebrate Halloween, yet we do so in a God-honoring way. While many people enjoy Tim Burton’s dark film the “Nightmare Before Christmas,” we enjoy “Judas’s Revenge.” However, as my eldest children, Solomon and Ruth, are getting older, they are starting to watch satanic movies like “Hocus Pocus” and “Halloweentown.” It is something we are really praying about. So this year, Solomon has been begging Bryan and I to let him watch the new Seth Rogen and James Franco movie called “Halloweed: Trip To Hell” with his friends. Despite the red flags from the title alone, we said he could watch it once we did. And Lord, forgive me for I have sinned!

If you are a Christian or a respectable countrywoman, I repeat, do not watch this movie. It is riddled with sin! Although this is marketed to 13-year-olds, it crosses too many of our unwavering moral lines to count. Rogen and Franco end up getting high on ancient strains of cannabis cursed by pagans and go on a Halloween adventure. Rogen plays Death Brogan, a shaman zombie, and Franco plays Jasper Fratco, a ghost who lived during the 18th century. The two, under the direction of their old friend Judd Apatow (or in this case, Jack Appletow), go through their own weed-centered levels of Hell like in “Dante’s Inferno.” 

Besides drug use, there is the abhorrent language and sexual innuendos (and physical acts)! The f-word and synonym for crap are used in handfuls, like candy for trick-or-treaters. And do not get me started on how many times puns connecting Halloween and weed are made. It is just bad writing! 

For you moms out there concerned about how much violence there is in a movie, this movie is mostly full of comedic violence like they have to fight a vampire and fake blood gushes like a fountain rather than disturbing blood and gore like the “Saw” saga. I personally let my children watch Marvel and Harry Potter, but I realize many of you in the Country Christian Mom community criticize me for that. If this movie consisted of the violence as it contains as it is no Jehu murdering Jezebel and some forgettable potty humor that my thirteen year old understands is immature then we would be totally fine.

Christians everywhere, this next part is going to make you shudder and want to bathe in holy water to become clean. Though Brogen and Fratco are extremely high and unable to realize the severity of their actions, the two end up coming upon pagans doing satanic rituals. Instead of simply leaving them to their madness, they partake in it and even claim to sell their souls to the Devil when asked. To non-Christians, this scene is a riot because how can a zombie or a ghost, the dead and undead, sell their souls if they do not have them? To Christians, it is despicable as this just depicts why our counter-cultural movement for goodness is necessary. 

I would ban this movie for the same reasons we have banned “Harry Potter,” “Call Me By Your Name” and anything by Neil deGrasse Tyson. Ultimately, I rate this movie 3/10 botched crucifixions.

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