By not living in Copeland, my freshman year has been blissful

I awaken from my restful slumber. Another night has passed without interruption from my peers. I get up and walk to my bathroom that is devoid of questionable stains on the toilets. My showers were made before the 1950s and drain properly. I am able to navigate throughout my dorm building without referring to a map that resembles a maze on the Applebee’s kid’s menu. My kitchen and common room combo is large with a multitude of couches and chairs and a chalkboard for the community to draw on. The only thing it lacks is a mural of a giant blue baby that has a glare that pierces into you. I breathe out a sigh of relief, thanking God that I do not live in Copeland. 

Copeland is the most notorious dorm building on campus. Some of the sights you can see in Copeland include the blue baby room, a Guy Fieri flag that flies majestically, a cracked egg in a staircase,  and, most importantly, the infamous communal platonic bathtub (this is real and very scary). Getting to these locations will require a guide of some sort or incredible tenacity due to the fact that the person who designed the blueprint seemed to put on a blindfold and just scribble on a page. These are amazing sites to see, once you are able to actually find them, but that is all they are: something to gawk at. They are not worth giving up the quietness or amenities that the other dorms offer.

The other dorms on campus have differing cultures and amenities that Copeland just lacks. Copeland has nothing that can compare to the Coop in Forest, the Plateau in Platt-Howard or the gym residents of Stewart, Odell and Akin can use. Even disregarding the anarchical energies, Copeland is still lacking in other areas. The Living Learning Community in Copeland is Xperiment, described on the Lewis & Clark website as being “where students who are passionate about science and math combine those interests with imagination and purpose to create a supportive and fun community.” There are less than 10 people living there. How do you have a supportive and fun community with so few people? 

The only common complaint I do not agree with is that Copeland is yucky because it houses the most athletes. It is not the quantity of athletes; it is the quantity of students in general. Students are not exactly the best at being living mates, so having a large quantity in such a small area is sure to lead to some rather unfortunate events, and blaming it all on athletes is unfair. If you shove 500 students into one building of course there is just going to be a cracked egg on the staircase. 

Copeland is a great place to visit. It  can be chaotic and very exciting at times. It might even seem like a fun place to live until it is Tuesday at 12:34 a.m. during midterm week and people are still yelling, the fire alarm just went off again and the football quad situated right next to you is having an impromptu Britney Spears karaoke night. If you are a prospective student, the only advice I can give to you is just live somewhere else, it’s not worth the trouble.