LC puts multiple freshmen in single body to curb population

If you have you have read any issue of The Mossy Log or walked past a Words and Numbers class lately, you have inevitably heard stories of unprecedented crowding in residence halls due to the large freshman class.

With Stewart and Odell Residence Halls closing next semester for renovation, the housing shortage on campus is reaching disastrous levels, so Lewis & Clark has had to get creative.

A new solution has been proposed, and it is already being implemented in small test runs. An innovative procedure has been pioneered by a recent LC graduate, who asked to remain anonymous. The LC graduate is now a first year student at The Johns Hopkins School of Medicine where his father is an alumnus donor.

“The procedure is based upon the severing of the corpus callosum, an operation developed to treat severe refractory epilepsy, but accounting for hemispheric specialization and functional plasticity” the graduate explained while struggling to pronounce some of the words. He also seemed to be referencing a Wikipedia page. “This is a topic I’ve studied extensively and am very passionate about.”

The procedure will place two or three students into one body provided to them by the college. It is covered by student health insurance and is “probably safe,” according to the graduate.

Logistics are still being finalized, but the plan seems to be a promising one. Bodymates will select their courses for the Spring 2023 semester together and will be given priority course registration to help ease the process.

Students living in bodymate overflow housing may share a meal plan, but are still required to have one, as per the Campus Living policy.

“The college is offering 20% rent deductions for students who are selected for this overflow housing program,” a representative from Campus Living said. “Tuition fees will not be discounted.”

LC’s new president Raven Harzfeld-Mulligan is optimistic about this bold move. 

“Lewis & Clark students are creative boundary-pushers who never fail to impress me with their courage in the face of adversity,” Harzfeld-Mulligan said. “I know they will take this challenge in stride, and the college will do everything in its power to support them.”

Gina Mudis ’26 and Sofia Katz ’26 were a part of the early testing for this program and have been bodymates since the beginning of the semester. The students shared frustrations that echo through the freshman class. 

“This is just not what I had pictured

college would be like,” Mudis said. “Sofia is a bio major and I’m in SOAN, so her classes feel like a waste of time.”

Katz added her own grievances. 

“Gina likes to eat dinner at five, but I’m not hungry until seven,” Katz said. “It doesn’t feel like a great fit.” 

The girls’ aesthetics also have not made for the best match, with Mudis self-describing as “sort of y2k fairycore grunge” and Katz identifying as more of a “VSCO light academia softgirl.”

The girls did agree on one thing. 

“They don’t have to put up with this shit at Reed!” they said in unison.

Campus Living encourages students to email them with any questions. They will not read the emails, but will send an automated message thanking you for reaching out.