Illustration by Zachary Reinker

Californian first-years stunned by mysterious water coming from sky

Up on Palatine Hill, droplets of rain have begun  emerging from the sky. Portland has officially entered its rainy season, and with that comes puddles, ponchos and droves of confused Californians. 

Reports of water falling from the sky were first confirmed in September. Locals were ecstatic as they were brought back to familiar weather patterns and traditions of sloshing around in pools of water and showering outside. The first-years from California, on the other hand, were shaken by the downfall. They did not understand that it is a normal occurrence for water to pour out of the clouds and onto the trees, people and ladybugs — 43 inches of water per year, to be precise. I took it upon myself to track down some of these frightened students to hear what they had to say about this change in weather. 

Ethan Sanders ’25, a Bay Area native, sat down with me to recount his first sighting of rain. 

“I thought I was just sweating really hard,” Sanders said.

Compared to many of the other Californians, Sanders was relatively calm. Having taken plenty of showers in his lifetime, he told me, he was not as shocked as some other Californians by the rainfall.

Sophia Haines ’25, from the area outside of Calabasas, Calif, told me about her experience with rain. 

“I felt like the sky was assaulting me,” Haines said. “There’s no reason for it to do that.”

After doing my rounds, I discovered that beyond being stunned from water falling out of the sky, first-years were facing another problem: what to wear. The mysterious water coming from the sky has caused their legs to be exposed to unprecedented amounts of moisture. Socks were soaked and Birkenstocks ruined completely. I consulted with a few students regarding the impending fashion crisis and how they were planning on handling it. 

I asked Polly Munger ’25 who hails from Bend, OR, what she would be wearing during the rainy seasons. 

“My rain jacket,” Munger said. 

That sounds about right.

With LC being the undisputed fashion capital of Portland, many of the students refuse to throw on beaters to save the cherished parts of their wardrobe. As I sit here writing this article I see confused students walking around in their Birks, despite the current drizzle. All things considered, maybe they should have opted for the fake ones. 

Despite that, having now finished with my interviews of Californian first-years, I have come to the conclusion that they will be alright. Everyday more and more of them grow accustomed to the mysterious water falling from the sky. 

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