Illustration by Amelia Madarang

O’ Copeland’s commode, we offer you this ode

The children of Copeland were preparing for bed, with thoughts of Labor Day weekend flowing through their heads,

but to their surprise a man went to the sewers, to protect Copeland from viral wrongdoers.

It was none other than our President Wim! He was the one who dared to take the swim!

He rushed down the ladder, towards the contents of our bladders.

When his feet touched the ground, he gave a big frown.

Wim’s nose filled with something quite vile, but he was still determined to go the extra mile!

He took a ginormous scoop of these college students’ poop.

What he found was quite dubious, the virus had come out from their gluteus! 

Wim had to let someone know what he had found! There was a virus all around! 

Covered head to toe in brown, he ran back to Copeland town. 

He told them the news, that they could not choose

to leave their dorms, those were the norms.

The children of Copeland let out a sigh, but they would surely comply. 

One student yelled “this is the pits! Our weekend is ruined because of our sh–!” 

But fret not dear children, because shortly thereafter, the skies would soon be filled with the Copelander’s laughter.

They found that there was no disease, in the undigested Bon cheese.

Copeland was free at last! But suddenly it was overcast!

There was smoke all throughout! All the Copelanders began to pout.

I guess choosing to live in Copeland was a mistake, they just never seem to catch a break!

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