Girl who just got bangs probably doing alright

*The Backdoor is a “work” of “fiction” and “humor”

By Lluvia Meyreles

In the past week, the Lewis & Clark campus has been shaken up by the news of student Beth Miller ’19 and her shocking new hair-do. On April 2, Miller went down to her local salon to get a haircut and what she came out with was more horrifying than anyone could have imagined: she got bangs. The news spread quickly, inciting a campus-wide curiosity about whether or not Miller was doing alright. A recent study was published in Psychology Today, proving that 95 percent of the time when someone gets bangs they are crying for help. In over 80 percent of those cases, it led to a psychological breakdown. It is reported that more than 1 million people in mental facilities sought bangs before they were admitted.

In response to Miller’s obvious cry for help, the students have put together a support group for her called “Pray for Beth.” Their valiant efforts began with the hashtag #PrayForBeth and ended with a Facebook profile filter for people to show their support. LC administration has reached out to Miller and her family offering their full support in their time of need.

“I just wanted a change and I’ve wanted bangs for a long time,” Miller said. “There’s really nothing wrong.” She has yet to show any signs of mental instability post-bangs, but her peers are keeping an eye on her.

“It’s only a matter of time,” Kathy Klapist ’20 said. “Bangs never lead to anything good.”

The community response to Miller’s bangs has been remarkable. All over campus people are wearing green ribbons in solidarity and have offered her a safe space to talk about her feelings.

“I really don’t need a safe space, I just wanted a haircut,” Miller said. Despite Miller’s protest, LC is sending thoughts and prayers her way. It’s not clear what will happen to her next, but for now it seems she’s doing okay.