How to college: Don’t lose hope just yet, Pioneers

By AJ Slepian /// Staff Writer

What’s the difference between your spring semester grades and the “Titanic”? The “Titanic” already sank. But fear not! You still have time! And there are oh so many lifeboats for you to float upon! Although the health center can’t diagnose senioritis as a treatable medical disease, there are ways to combat this general malaise and disinterest so your GPA doesn’t sink to the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean.

Bring a Friend

You are not alone in this struggle. In fact, your friends are there for more than just stress-relief on the weekends. Calling them out on their laziness and avoiding being a hypocrite yourself can keep you a little more accountable and ensure your brain cells don’t burn off like your once-healthy skin after last Sunday on South Campus. The library is never a first option after class, but it can save you a lot of stress and headaches later if you crack open that Spanish book before May. Having a friend there can give you a bit of relief and remind you that not everyone is frolicking in the grass all afternoon.

Get Stoked

Gearing up to study can sound stupid, but getting your shit together before you hike down to Watzek is an easy first step to actual getting off your bed. Sharpening pencils or grabbing some pens and highlighters to toss into your backpack gets you moving and once you stand up it’s a thousand times easier to exit Netflix and leave your procrastination paradise. Getting out the door is the first step. Don’t think too much about where you’re going or the hours of reading stacked up in front of you, just do it, Nike–style.

Denial Bites Back

It can be pretty easy to convince yourself that doing minimal work and throwing together a few good projects will seal off a pretty good or average grade for you, depending on the class. But don’t be fooled by how distant finals look. They’re real and are approaching faster than you care to realize. Studying the night before for four or five tests in a row is likely to be a total shitshow without winning results. Break into a deck of flashcards and get yourself a nice new pad of paper now so you can start eating away at that Cell Bio textbook that’s been hidden away beneath your couch for the last two months. Get stuff done now so that you don’t captain your ship into an iceberg and then go down with it. Swim like a bat out of hell and get to shore while you can.

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